It’s your dream, and because of that you have to make a choice.

Here is today’s Game and what’s going on.

This is what I learned from Dave Hollis‘ book, Get Out of Your Own Way.

Today’s highlights and declaration come from the chapter titled “Everyone is Thinking About What I’m Doing.”  Let’s jump in:

• Here’s a gift that will serve you even if you’re not a middle school boy looking for love: nobody is thinking about you.
• They’re thinking about themselves.
• And most people you do life with every day aren’t thinking about you either.
• That’s not an indictment of the people in your life; it’s just a truth about the human condition. We are all worried about ourselves, and any reaction we have to other people tends to be a reflection of our own insecurities. If someone does have a problem with something you’re doing, it’s likely they are challenged by it, feel insecure because of it, are jealous of your willingness to chase after it, or are frustrated that your belief in yourself makes them more aware of their disbelief in their own ability. In the end, it’s rarely actually about you.
• You know when people’s motives are pure and in your best interests. You should listen to those people. They’re that small percentage who really knows you and your heart, the desires and motives of your soul.
• Ego is a funny thing. There’s this part of us that believes that if we were to leave a company, leave a relationship, leave a post in life, the people left behind would be devastated about the void we leave in our wake. We believe on some unconscious level that the entire operation will come crashing down if the contributions we’ve been making aren’t available once we’re gone. It gives us a sense of self-worth. It makes us feel like the things we’re doing are worthy of our time.
• If you find yourself struggling to make a move or can’t get your motivation for taking that big step you know you need to take, it had better not be because you’re holding on to something wrapped in others’ opinions. Let it go. Once I was able to push past the worry of what other people might think, I started living my life. Start living yours.

THINGS THAT CAN HELP YOU

1. Become more intentional with whose thoughts you give weight to: When you cast the net of whose opinions matter so broadly that it includes everyone, it dilutes the power of the opinions that actually do matter. Seeking out experts in our field, friends who have built exceptional relationships, and other people who are committed to personal development allows us to home in on the opinions that might actually help.
2. Take emotion out of the equation: The emotional side of all of us will contrive a version of events that, when the more objective part of us steps in, often proves not to be true. The more you are able to objectively stand outside of emotion and ask if there is a chance your feelings are fueled by insecurity and not reality, the easier it will be to brush that worry aside.
3. Keeping taking unconventional baby steps to gain confidence: Becoming immune to the opinions of others isn’t as easy as just flipping a switch on. Building confidence is just like training any other muscle. The friction you create is what actually builds the muscle, and the more you do it, the easier it is to push toward heavier weights. Get yourself into a mindset of trying things that will help you grow even if they don’t make sense to other people. This will become your new normal as you take steps, see success, and learn the worth of putting yourself out there. Start small, celebrate your success, and use your growing confidence as the momentum you’ll need to push further.

That leads us to today’s Dadly Daily Declaration:

If you’re holding yourself back because of worry over what other people think, you have to ask yourself if you’re giving the right kind of weight to the people in your life to regulate what you do and don’t do. There are voices you should listen to, but those voices are few and far between. Don’t give up the power you have to be who you were meant to be because of what people who are not thinking about you might think.

These people you’re worried about? Their fulfillment does not hinge on your success. It’s your dream, and because of that you have to make a choice. Are you going to keep people who are just casually a part of your life happy, or are you going to be fulfilled?