This Tuesday sees the continuation of our Dadly Daily Declaration series with readings from The Passion Paradox by authors Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness. Stulberg and Madness aim to demystify passion and show readers how they can find and cultivate their passion, sustainably harness its power, and avoid its dangers.
Here are a few gems from today’s reading:
- Passion and love have a deep and intertwined relationship. So it should not be surprising that when it comes to finding a passion, much like with love, the prevailing wisdom is that we ought to search for the perfect fit. There is an expectation that the initial alchemy, the feeling we have when we start a new hobby or job, should send a clear signal as to whether we’ve hit the mark: We should be excited, enthusiastic, and energized. If we don’t experience these positive emotions from the get-go, best to keep on searching.
- This is called a “fit mind-set” of passion, and it very much parallels the destiny belief system of love. According to the latest research, 78 percent of individuals hold a fit mind-set, meaning they believe happiness comes from finding an activity or job about which they are immediately passionate, something that feels intuitively right from the get-go.
- Individuals who adopt a fit mind-set of passion tend to overemphasize their initial feelings. They are more likely to choose pursuits (and especially professions) based on preliminary assessments, not potential for growth—even though the latter is generally more important than the former for lasting fulfillment and satisfaction.
- It’s important to beware of the pitfalls of a fit mind-set for passion:
- You’re more likely to give up on new pursuits at the first sign of challenge or discomfort.
- You’re more likely to sacrifice opportunities for long-term growth and development in favor of fleeting short-term pleasures.
- You’re more likely to succumb to “midlife crises” as the activities you engage in evolve over time.
- You’re less likely to find a lasting passion because you bounce from one not-quite-perfect endeavor to the next.
- Studies show that individuals with fit mind-sets actually expect their passions to dwindle over time, setting themselves up for midlife crises once their initial enthusiasm for an activity has diminished. Put all this together, and a compelling story emerges: A fit mind-set for passion is constraining; it inherently limits one to activities that feel good immediately and makes one fragile to challenge or change.
- A better approach to finding your passion is to lower the bar from perfect to interesting, then give yourself permission to pursue pursue your interests with an open mind.
Today’s Dadly Daily Declaration is this:
Especially when first exploring new ideas and activities, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.
Select “interesting” over “perfect.” Having an open mind and playfully exploring your interests is better than trying to find something that immediately feels perfect.
